Story Time with Hawkright and Friends
by Hawkright-01121999
Summary: This isn't actually anything from a movie, just something I decided to write because my friends were writing stupid stuff and arguing at the bottom of my school work Google Doc. Note: This is for shits and giggles, none of the makes any sense nor is it meant to. The reason why it's in Misc. Movies is because I couldn't find a section for High School.
1. Chapter 1: Absurdities and Arguements

Story Time with Mark (Chapter 1: The Argument and Absurdity)

One day, one lil' asian dude was getting pretty hungry and decided to pursue a conversation that he'd remembered from the deepest recesses of his mind.

"Wait…. who's Buying?" Mark asks, looking for a previously mentioned conversation

The person diagonally opposite to him replies, "You are...?" Laneisa says.

Looking around to Laneisa, he slowly replies bewildered "Lol wut? Mate I got a twenty on me at most..."

"Mate I got twenty bucks on me too" Laneisa retorted almost instantaneously

"It costs like twenty-one dollars where I'm planning to go." Mark says, trying to think of how this situation will work out in his head, every scenario led to being kicked out and being arrested.

The only thing going through Laneisa's head at the time was ways to insult Mark. "20 cents." she replies bring Mark out of his reverie and leaving him confused with what she said.

"And where's this?" Laneisa questioned, questioning if the place was dodgy as shit or not. She too also seemed to be hungry, at this moment Mark knew he was gonna have to either tell the truth, or bullshit out of his ass.

"Burgerhead, in Penrith, fucking amazing burger there!" Mark exclaims, deciding to go with the truth, at least this way in case she went mad he'd at least have one last good meal

"So food. I'm in." Another person nearby utters out, his voice carrying over Mark's thoughts and again leaving him confused similar to previously when he was snapped out of his reverie.

"Who else is in?" Steven, the person who spoke out, says asking the people around him

"I'm in." Laneisa, the El Salvadorian replied, she knew that she'd knave money off the others and get them to buy her food for breakfast, lunch or brunch.

"Righto, who's got a car? We'll ditch school." Mark inquires, speculating how they'd get there, especially considering the fact that none of them actually had a car. He even considered asking Laneisa's boyfriend to just sneak them in the boot of his car and hijack us to Penrith and out of school.

"Don't even worry, I'll find a car... I got this..." Laneisa countered, probably having the same thought process as Mark had. It most likely wasn't, but who honestly cares.

"Awesome, Steven you willing to knock Miss out so we can make a break for it?" Mark quizzed, already planning an escape route. The door to the front left or breaking through the wall of windows to the right.

"I'll make a run for it out the window to your right Mark..." Laneisa murmured (Note: Exclaimed) not realising that every window in the goddamn classroom was to his right.

"…." Without replying, he looked Laneisa dead in the eye and glared at her with all the deadpanned force he could muster.

Letting out an exasperated sigh he says, "Fucking idiot, you're just like Rav!" associating her to a person whose rights are so low on the "Living Rights Scale" he normally wouldn't even think to compare someone to Rav.

"Also, I'm bolting through the wall in the front, fuck the door and window." he endures on after sufficiently chastising Laneisa on her Rav and Mark level stupidity.

Laneisa had to stop for a moment and think of how that would even work. It also took her another few seconds to realise the fact he compared her to someone so stupid and retarded. It took everything in her body not to yell and slap him in the head.

Whilst this was happening, another person slowly ventured into the conversation, bewildered as to what was happening.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Laneisa bellowed, fuming at the thought. Turning her head and crossing her arm she replied back, "For fuck's sake, do your work" and turned her head, nose up in a huff. Mark couldn't help but notice that while he wasn't doing his work, neither did it look like Laneisa had contributed anything.

As the thought passed through his head, he looked forward to the front of the class and took in the work on the board, a second later he remembered the two other workers on their table, working diligently, copying the work on religion or something and copying it down into their books.

"We should honestly be helping Steve and Corey, but look what's happened." Mary said, musing whether or not he should help them and copy notes as well or just continue his argument/conversation with the El Salvadorian.

"I left for about 5 mins to come back to a full-blown argument, what the fuck?" A newcomer says, her name Melissa says as she giggles at the absurdity of what she'd witnessed for the past 5 minutes, having stayed silent when she entered earlier.

"Join us. It involves food." Laneisa said, trying to entice her into the conversation and also make her forget what she'd been hearing, thus making them seem like normal and sane people instead of the weirdos they all were.

"As long as you don't question it. It's all good." Steven said, not really caring of the situation but staying invested enough to leaving funny remarks and passing comments whilst making it seem like he was doing his work to the teacher at the front of the room

"I want food, someone buy me food!" Mel exclaimed, already thoroughly enticed with the thought of food. "I like food, food is life not Shrek" she said absentmindedly, thoughtfully scratching her chin.

"I'm actually soo hungry. Mark pull out that $20." Laneisa exclaims, angry at him for suggesting food and almost smacking him over the head with her notebook or laptop, whichever she grabbed first would work for her.

"Righto." he says, three seconds later whipping out his wallet and pulling out a twenty-note bill and waving it in her face before putting away and keeping his wallet for safekeeping.

"Still not pulled out. I'm disappointed." Steven said, causing mark to wonder if he was blind considering he had to put his arm in front of his face to wave the twenty in Laneisa's.

"That's what she said." Laneisa giggles out, causing Mark to smirk at the sudden turn in the conversation.

"Eat a dick COREY! Just kidding." Mel yelled from the middle of nowhere, barging back into the conversation with a white mask, surgical buzzsaw and a teddy bear. The moment she finished yelling, she walked straight back out the door.

"The hate for Corey." Steven noted, bemused.

"No? Yes? MAYBE!?" could be heard distantly from outside the hallway. The next thing everyone knew, Melissa burst into the room, high on Mushrooms. "What if the world was actually some alien kid's science project?" she asked, eyes glazed and slowly rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"AHAHAH!" could once again be heard just outside the hallway.

"It would make more sense." Mel continued on her tangent, barely batting an eyelid at what she was saying.

"Mel… what drugs you on?" Laneisa question, all the while slowly tiptoeing away from the glazed girl.

"I promise I didn't get Dylan to drug the entire school" an airy voice piped up from beside her, it was Steven.

"I'm on the same stuff as Jayden smith" Mel said, whilst pulling out a small plastic baggie filled to the rim with a mix of crystal meth and cocaine.

'Life?" Lia enquired, not fully understanding what Mel was holding.

Mark piped up from beside the group, butting back into the conversation. "I'm making this conversation into a story, just look up. Slowly moving through everything said and replacing it with story dialogue." as he slowly typed away at a now seen laptop, each part of the conversation being filed away at the bottom of their religion work.

"This could be an autobiography or something?" steven said, wondering if there were any ways they could make some money.

"THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES. WE COULD REMAKE IT! But it would be about stupid shit like drugs, sex and wondering if dogs can talk." Steven said, an fabulous idea popping into his head. (Note: Extremely stupid and absurd idea, yet sadly normal for him.)

"Sounds like an award-winning book." Steven continued onwards, "An award-winning book." he said whilst miming what was supposed to be a news headline or some shit.

"LET'S MAKE LIKE SHIA AND JUST DO IT!" Melissa said excitedly, still drugged up on cocaine and crystal meth. Then she vanished and a hole appeared in the wall beside the group. No noise had even been produced, just… poof.

"Now this is the end of the first chapter." Lia said, miming how the end of the chapter should end.

End (Chapter 1: The Argument and Absurdity)


	2. Chapter 2: Another Day Done

Story Time with Mark (Chapter 2: Another Day Done, Another Day Gone)

* * *

Listening to the quiet humming of the air conditioner, the silent buzz of people around her, the perfect golden silence. No errands to do. No yelling or verbally abusive Asians. 'Twas a perfect day for our favourite El Salvadorian. At least it was till the silence was broken by a slam on the table in front of her.

"Laneisa get the others on cause let's be honest, we're gonna be bored..." Mark said while extracting his laptop. To the side of him a young sandy blonde teen moved a spare table beside him whilst another moved to the seat to his left. "Hurry the fuck up!" he hollered, barely even noticing the people beside him.

Before she could even say anything, Steven spoke up, preventing her from speaking. "Nah" he said lackadaisical, watching as another friend decided to sit with them. Just as she was about to say something again, she was cut off. "Shut up." Steven groaned out, exasperatedly pinching the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.

Whether because of Mark's Idiocy or Laneisa's mexicanness neither would now because of the fact Corey decided to intrude with his wise words of wisdom.

"I'm hungry…" Corey groaned out, forehead resting on the table and clutching his stomach. Most of the group would've cared if they hadn't been fucking around on their google doc.

"Laneisa, you had like one fucking job and you managed to fuck it up in Arabic" Mark cursed out as he witnessed her copy and paste some Arabic shit, something that had to do with marriage, but that's beside the point.

"Shut up Mark. At least she is doing something." Steven shielded her or most likely just wanted to roast him as well (Let's be honest here, Steve would roast the both of them, He just doesn't care as long as he roasts both of them.), typing away furiously as the teacher came around to check on the work. Looking to his side and watching Mark had only scrolled up before scrolling back down and continuing to doodle and screw around on the Google Doc.

"Oi mate, I was doing shit. I helped earlier. You were too busy fucking around with the story" Mark exclaimed, indicating out the fact that he HAD done work… Just not a whole lot of it, there was some but hey, it still counted as contributing.

"Well fucking learn to type properly Mark." he responded, continuously typing away all the while slowly roasting Mark over a flame of words and burns.

"You do realise I've typed a lot of stuff, you're gonna have to be more specific mate." Mark replied, and since he's not exactly the brightest tool in the box, didn't have clue what the fuck Steven was going on about.

"Enough said." Steven said airily, still leaving the retard confused as the day he was born and the day he learnt how to use chopstick, in his defence learning how to use those are pretty fucking hard.

"Mate, I'm fucking retarded. You're gonna have to be super as fuck specific." See? He even knows he's retarded. I guess that's what happens when all your friends roast you.

Mark turned his head, planning to roast her over an open flame. "Laneisa, you're useless…" he utters out before realising Steven said something.

"God damn it Corey, you made the only female cry." he said, throwing Mark for a loop. Evidently he'd missed something important, like those moments when you skip a few seconds in one of _those_ videos and you're like 'Hold up, I evidently missed a very crucial part of the plot' then when you go back you realise it was just a cut scene to the booping.

Well, that got pretty off topic. Anyways getting back to Mark, we find him jacking a folder from a mate before using it to cover Laneisa's face, whilst screaming "Dear God, someone cover the El Salvadorian!", even though he was already covering her with a book/folder thing-a-majig.

"Now everything is getting fucked up." Steven exclaim while throwing his hand up in the air, all before collapsing boneless onto the table.

"You're not being useful." Laneisa said, swatting away the folder like one would with a fly and looking at the work on the Google Doc, barely ten percent of it maybe being from Mark.

"Fuck off, Laneisa" Mark said, quite an eloquent guy ain't he?

"Mate... relax." Laneisa alleged, slightly mortified with the amount of sass and subtlety (Note; no subtlety) rolling off his insult.

"She'll be riiiiiiight" Mark stretched out the word, showing to the world how much even he didn't believe a single word he was saying.

"I'll stab you." Laneisa threatened whilst grabbing a pen from her bag. "In the eyeballs." she emphasized further by placing it directly over his eyes.

"Heh, I know you would. You've stabbed me before remember? Four times even, each on the left arm. Pretty sure I got ink poisoning from that." He chuckled mirthfully, undaunted from the sight of the pen so close to his ocular cavity. The delightful memories of being stabbed in the arm because of the fact he had smoother legs than her, something he constantly rubbed in her face.

"I'm chucking a wank now." he even said jokingly.

Of course, Steven in his infinite wisdom decided to say something that would forever horrify Mark and his melodramatic way of life. He said the few words that shan't never be repeated lest it's in a book. "There is no meme language." he uttered out, horrifying Mark with his sinful existence.

In all his glorious Asianess, the Dank one replied as is the custom of his people. "Fuck off Steven, no one shall refuse the dankness that is memes." he cried while putting on sunglasses over his regular glasses and eating an apple.

"Tomatoes. Enough said." Steven replied to the Dankness, throwing the Dankness off guard and allowing the El Salvadorianess to attack.

"Fight me mate." the embodiment of El Salvador said, aiming her cannon full of Mexicans at the dankness.

"Mon' then." The Dankness replied, seizing his sword of weed and his shield of potatoes. He was the one true embodiment of the power of Dankness

"I'm so hungry, who can donate money to the poor?" the El Salvadorian stopped their banter, looking into the eyes of others and using her Mexican ways to potentially steal the jobs and money of Americans.

"Sure how much?" Steven answered, the poor fool didn't know what he was getting into. The immigrant would steal his money, his girl and soon his job. Not his shoes though, El Salvadorians don't wear shoes. They wear chanclas the bloody Mexicans, also doesn't help that the narrator is also a tiny bit Mexican.

"Fuck off Mark with that shit." Steven ground out after he saw Mark writing the word "Nigga" repeatedly, and in big-ass font size as well, which wasn't helping his case.

"Righto." was his valiant comeback.

As Mark looked up to the board, wherein he observed the work the teacher was writing on the board and it saying how Hajj makes people as pure or something, so he decided to add his 50 dollars to the conversation. "Whoever performs Hajj basically becomes the pope. That's what I've gathered from all this…" was what he judiciously said to the peons around him

Steven, turning his head to him decided to explain it in simpler terms. "It's the Islamic Black Box" the Wise one said, not realising that the Dank one was too retarded to understand what he was saying. "Well it's better than zombies." the Wise one added as an afterthought.

Deciding to put the black box stuff behind him, Mark inquired one very important question. "Yo, what's this fucking A'isha essay?" he asked, deciding to humour the lower ones with his presence.

"The Question bullshit." the Wise one replied, again failing to realise how retarded the Dank one was.

"Can you write it down?" the Dank one queried, and adding as an afterthought as he started typing away on his computer. "I'm starting on the second chapter."

End (Chapter 2: Another Day Done, Another Day Gone)

* * *

Thank you guys for reading, if anyone is wondering why "Let's see what happens" hasn't been updated it's because i've hit a writers block and will continue next month once my exams period has finished.

Also this story will be updated every Monday and Friday, Australia becuase these are the days I have religion and when me and my classmates tend to fuck around.

Hawkright, signing off


End file.
